aetercrow

Under the Radar

Wednesday, Nov. 4th marked 5 years since my divorce. “Freedom Day” was floated as a holiday name, but it doesn’t really need a holiday. I actually forgot about it until Thursday, when I was on a solo hike. I spent the rest of the evening thinking about just how long ago it all seems, as well as how different I am then and now. Oh, I did all of that over steak, bourbon and gin.

Also, today, Sunday Nov 8th is the 10 year mark from the original wedding day. This date isn’t as significant, but it’s an trip to think about. 10 years out seems like a long time. Heck, the 5 years of the divorce is a long time. Considering my last post, one might think that this would make me feel old but it is quite the opposite. I just now, at 31, feel like it’s time to start thinking about my future a as family man. I feel young in this area, so I am all the more amazed at myself for taking that plunge in my infancy.

A(n im)modest proposal.

My friend David is getting married Dec 4th. I still have the invitation sitting in the bookshelf, RSVP unsent. Before you cry foul, consider the fact that I have already consented to be the best man, and I also helped make those invitations. My reply does not need to be verified when it is already assumed.  I would still like to send the card back though. First, there is a call for marriage advice on the return card and that’s too easy a chance at irreverence to pass up. Second, they gave me an “and guest” option that would be a shame to waste.

I think it would be good form to roll into the wedding with an “and guest”. Considering the pairings that are already in place, it would be good to have a copilot to navigate the evening with, someone who could provide the services of dance partner, conversationalist and confidant. With that in mind I *might* open up applications for the starring role. If you are thinking about applying, consider these pros/cons carefully. The upside is that you’d get some free dinner and entertainment, the downsides are that you’ll have to sit through my jokes (no laughter required, it just encourages me) and that my only real dance moves involve everyday activities like pushing a shopping cart and setting the sprinklers. Consider yourself warned ladies.

Here’s why:

1. My students don’t know who Mark Hamill is.

His first appearance as Luke Skywalker happened the year before I was born. I never saw an (Original Trilogy) Star Wars film until after they were all out and on video, thanks to my parents’ screening regimen. These two facts mean that I can’t possibly be an O.G. Starwars fan, I’m too young. I, like many a confused younger Beatles fans, had to inherit my taste from people who were alive to see it happen the first time. So, when a student of mine (who is otherwise pretty geeky) doesn’t know who Mark Hamill is, it’s a sign that I’m not as young as I think.

2. I’m shifting to the father figure.

The lab is filled with geek undergrads today. The environment that has created in this space is practically my alma mater. There was a group earlier huddled in front of the Smart Board, doing what they do best; exploring, learning and having fun! All of that exploring landed them on the text to speech function, and soon the three or four young men were cracking all 66 of their peers up with a computerized voice repeating memes targeted to their demographic. When the laughter had died down, I took the opportunity to jump in and show them other cool things about the Smart Board and it’s productive use. Yes, I was that dad/teacher/etc.

It wasn’t until later that my memory got the best of me. 15 years ago I accompanied the Zumwalts to Portland to help them buy a computer. When we had it back a their farm house hooked up and humming along, the first thing Pete and I did, after some exploration of the functions, was to type in funny phrases into the text to speech converter, most likely lines from The Holy Grail. 15 years ago I was doing exactly what these students were doing today: exploring, learning and having fun. The difference to me now is that my natural instinct is to extend that further, and help bring others along on similar, familiar paths of learning. I care for their development and I use their enthusiasm to try and teach them something… instead of joining in and trying to make the synthesized voice with the British accent try and return a dead parrot.

3. Other General Evidence.

• I read articles like this, and can’t wait to start early language training.
• I’m thinking right now about writing a blog anticipating fatherhood.
• I fell asleep on the couch at 11:30 last night.
• I’m waking up well before I’d ever like to, on purpose.
• Part of my purpose is to set good habits for the future.

It’s a good thing I still have my looks.

For the second year in a row, UO Computer Information Sciences, and Information Services are hosting the Pacific Northwest Regional ACM Intercollegiate Programming Contest. On Saturday, 22 teams of three, will enter the lab and use their geek powers in an attempt to solve as many of the given problems as possible in 5 hours. I really hope no one wears a cape this year.

My job in all of this is to act as the systems administrator for our site. This means that I set up the computers to the specification of the overall contest rules. It’s a great gig, really. I get to hang out with geeks all day, which I truly enjoy. I also enjoy knowing that as geeky as I am, I’m still the coolest person there. Seriously, nobody better be wearing a cape or Quidditch outfit.

The problems range from tricky, to downright devious. I only saw one problem last year, the “easy” one. This was a problem that every team solved; and, several teams solved it in a couple of minutes, IIRC. Here it is:

Tetrahedral Stacks of Cannonballs
WALL•E™©, as he cleans up and organizes the depopulated Earth, has come upon some Civil War memorials.
He is consolidating the cannonballs into one location, and decides to use pyramids with triangular bases rather
than ones with square bases.
In Civil War memorials with cannons and stacks of cannonballs, the cannonballs were sometimes stacked as a
four-sided pyramid, with the base as a square of cannonballs with n balls on each side. An alternative is to
stack them in a three-sided pyramid, which is in fact one of the Platonic solids, a tetrahedron.
This tetrahedron of cannonballs has a base that is an equilateral triangle of cannonballs with n balls on each
side. The number of balls in that triangle is given simply by adding together the numbers from 1 to n. On top
of each layer (starting from the base) is a triangle with one less ball on each side, up to the top-most layer with a
single ball.
Given the number of cannonballs on each side of the base, compute the total number of cannonballs in the entire
tetrahedral stack.

Input
The first line contains a single number n, giving the number of tetrahedral problems posed, for a maximum of
100 problems. Following that are exactly n lines, each with a single number giving the number of cannonballs
on each side of the base for a tetrahedron of cannonballs, a number greater than 0 and less than 1000.

Output
For each problem, output the problem number (starting from 1), a colon and a blank, the number of cannonballs
on each side of the base, one blank, and finally the total number of cannonballs in the tetrahedron.
Sample input Sample output
6 1: 1 1
1 2: 2 4
2 3: 3 10
3 4: 5 35
5 5: 27 3654
27 6: 999 166666500
999

For the quick teams, the gimme of this problem was probably the clues about tetrahedral numbers. It’s a simple math problem. To people who don’t think in any kind of math (no matter how simple some geek tells us it is thankyouverymuch), even a problem like this could be dizzying. That’s where some strategy might come in handy.

To be successful at these problems you’re going to need to have some broad skills come into play. First, you’re going to have to have a strong contingent in the abstract math realm. However, to even get to that you might have to be able to unpack a word problem, so reading comprehension is key. After you get the problem fleshed out in the theoretical sphere, you’ll need a more real approach, codifying abstract algorithms requires a good knowledge of the language at hand, as well as an eye for detail. No matter how geeky you think this is, the accomplishments here are doing these kids a lot of good.

Now, I know most of us aren’t going to equate this contest to a sporting event. It’s kind of hard to root for geeks in the first place, let alone when geeks are engaged in an activity where the only visible action is the receiving of helium balloons, one for each successful completion (each problem has a color associated to it). Still, I’ll be pulling for the old green and yellow. There is a team this year that is composed of two CIS students and one math major. Math for the conceptualization and unpacking of word problems, and two hackers to make it all happen on the boxen. It would be nice if the UO had a team in the top three, and they might be the ones to make that happen…. unless they are wearing f&%#ing capes.

In close I challenge you to do a simplified version of the problem above. Try to find a process for finding the number of balls requested. Don’t worry about programming it at all, just see if you can conceptualize the solution… there is always a geek who can hack it into a program later.

“All these cats with holey jeans,
dirty hair and titty rings,
Say what’s your scene man,
we got these questions…”
- Cracker, Get Off This

1. Was that a reasonable attempt at squash soup?

Sara suggested pumpkin soup for dinner on Sunday. She has a couple of recipes she received from friends and family, and we decided to try and combine them as best as possible to see what would happen. The recipes had basic elements in common; namely onion, pumpkin/squash, stock, cinnamon and nutmeg. That’s sort of where I started, here’s what happened after:

Pumpkin Squash Soup

Clean, peel and cube squash/pumpkin, prepare as desired (we roasted it, you can just add to pot and simmer too)
Heat butter and olive oil in large stock/soup pot, medium heat.
Finely dice an onion and begin to sweat/saute in pot.
Finely chop 4 cloves of garlic, add to pan.
Add pinch of saffron strands (optional, pricey)
Add handful of crushed walnuts, mix.
Add enough white wine to cover the onions, and then a bit more, simmer a bit to reduce.
Add stock, estimate enough to completely submerge the squash, you can add more later too.
Season to taste with, cinnamon, nutmeg, salt, pepper and then simmer
Add squash and more stock if necessary.
Cover and simmer until squash is tender.
Whisk, whip or blend pot contents to make a smooth, creamy texture.

That’s about it. If you’re worried about it being to thin or thick, adjust stock levels in stages. This was the first time I had tried this kind of recipe, and I think it came out tasty. I’m not really sure if it flew to well though. I think it is a pretty weird concept, considering  you don’t normally see things like this on the menu anywhere. I grew up eating squash.. or rather I learned to like it growing up, so I am ok with experimenting with it in the kitchen.

2. What is the fate of my beard?

I’ve enjoyed it so far, but I thought it might be time to explore it’s continued worth. I always value input.

I understand there are costs associated with accepting my bank card.

I believe that the costs leveraged against businesses, from the big credit corporations, for “processing fees” are wrong.

I know that neither of these are a good enough reason to refuse accepting plastic as a method of payment in your place of business.

It stands to reason then, that I’m not happy when a seller of goods/services won’t let me access the most convenient methods of payment for their goods/services. It’s not rocket science! I have cash and I want to pay for your crap; and as much as my father would like, no one is going back to keeping their money in their mattresses or coffee cans in the freezer anytime soon. I digress…

Worse than luddite establishments, and the reason for this post in general is the kind of establishment that accepts cards but take a holier than thou victim approach in doing so. Oh who? I’m glad you asked:

Holy Cow

They grudgingly began to accept cards earlier this year when faced with a possible shut-out of the EMU. According to my deadly accurate speculation, their refusal to accept card payment was high on the list for them being booted for a more savvy Laughing Planet. For whatever reason, they caved and now when you go in you have the choice to pay for that Thai tofu over quinoa with the cash that you smartly decided to keep in the bank instead of your fanny pack, dad. Everybody wins in this scenario…

or, one would think.

Today, I overheard the proprietor of the establishment calling for folks who were not paying with card to come to her express line. The draw was that they “reward” customers not paying with a card with stamps on another card, towards free food. So, they are rewarding the dwindling number of patrons who consent to carry cash, or load up campus cash with rewards of free food. Stated another way they are taking a shrinking revenue stream and throwing more loss at it! How does that make sense?!

The worst part is that owner communicated, willingly, her disdain for paying with a card. Enlightened people are to good for the card at Holy Cow. The cards represent some sort of corporate fascist evil, right? Wrong, wrong wrong. Cards are safe, quick and effective. They also save me money, because I’m not pulling cash out in amounts greater (sometimes by a factor of 4 or more) to what I’m buying. There is no conspiracy other than the greed associated with the charges incurred by the restaurant. I’ve acknowledged those, and for a healthy business, providing the customers coming in with more payment options will balance that loss, or surpass it with gains all together. The real greed here seems to be discouraging the use of safe and effective payment for the sake of the bottom line. Maybe the card income just doesn’t work with their particular brand of accounting.

To far? Maybe. Still, the fact remains, it’s pretty hard to hold such a strong ideological line against corporate greed and capitalism, when you are in the business of selling things. Sure, you may treat your workers well, but at the end of the day you walk out fatter in cash then any of them do; and that’s ok. It’s your baby, and that success of bringing people in the door to sell your ideology is working well for you, probably more so than just keeping yourself clothed, housed and fed. So why don’t you drop the hypocritical stance and embrace it? You’ll get more customers, and that means more profits. If that makes you feel guilty, try donating your profits beyond your general expenses and modest salary to charity. That works, and it also is great marketing, which means more for, *ahem* charity.

Family dinners are back in style, and I can’t think of a single good reason for letting them lapse in the first place. I can think of a few factors contributing to the stoppage however. The largest of these is the period of time I spent living alone. I didn’t entertain nearly as much living alone as I had before, in the heyday of the weekly dinners. I guess we have some making up to do.

The focus this time around has been simple: Tia and Kevin’s cornbread. The entree has merely been a vehicle for them bringing the blessed pan of goodness. I’ve managed to con them into bringing it two weeks in a row now, and I wonder how long I can keep it up. There has to be a hard limit on the number of dishes cornbread will go with. Well, maybe not for me personally, but certainly for others. I have a feeling I’ll start scrambling pretty soon, trying to keep cornbread dreams alive.

Now on to the good stuff, the recipes! What follows are a detailing of my kitchen work for the two dinners. For the most part, I won’t be posting anything as scientific as precise measures, weights or volumes. This is art people!

Week 1, Chili

2lb ground chicken, browned
1 poblano, 1 green, 2 anneheim, 1 serrano and 1 jalapeno peppers, roasted until blackened, skin and dice.
1 can beans (pinto was my choice)
2 small cans of tomato sauce
Water, enough to just cover above
1/4-1/3 cup of ground ancho chillies, according to taste. (use chili powder if you have to)
1 small onion, finely diced
2-3 cloves garlic finely diced
2-3 pinches cumin, according to taste
2-3 pinches of oregano, according to taste
Cayenne pepper, according to taste
Salt, according to taste

Ok, simmer all of that for at least 1 hour, but the longer the better. A half hour before you intend to serve, add:

2-3 spoonfuls of masa mixed into enough cup cold water to make a pourable mixture.

Simmer until ready to serve. Especially tasty with cornbread.

Week 2, Stew

2lb stew meat, cubed, quick seared on all edges, placed in the bottom of large pot.
3-4 potatoes cubed similarly as, and placed on top of, the meat.
4-5 carrots, cut similarly as, and on top of, the potatoes

4-5 small stewing onions
2-3 garlic cloves chopped
1 box of beef stock, added to all the above
Equal parts Red Wine and Guinness Extra Stout,  enough to top off the stock and cover the solids. (Drink the rest)
1-2 dashes Worcestershire Sauce.
Salt to taste
2-3 pinches Thyme, to taste
3 Bay leaves

Simmer for 2 hours, at least, but longer if possible. About a half hour before serving:

Brown 1/2 cup flour in an equal part of butter (I reduce the butter a bit and add a bit of olive oil). When the flour is toasted a bit, add some simmering liquid, a bit at a time, mixing until the roux is pourable. Use to thicken stew to your own preference and simmer until ready to serve. Again, exceptional with cornbread.

Report Card

Overall, I was happy with both dishes. The chili was pretty money. I was very pleased with how well the roasting of multiple peppers went, especially. Their overall contribution to flavor was outstanding. I think the stew could use some improvement. I thought it was very tasty, yes, but I would have liked to have tasted it at about 5-6 hours of simmering. I might need a crockpot.

If there is ever a future for implanted ID, sign me up. I don’t buy into the mark of the beast crap. The true evil is the current ID system. only devils could come up with a system so vile and tied to the DMV. My driver’s license is old and ragged and the TSA agents here in EUG gave me a lecture but let me through. Here’s to hoping that I have similar luck on my return trip. I’d consider raising a glass for that luck, but should even risk getting carded at this point? Drunkenness might help me survive the extra inquisition emotionally but I doubt it will help me navigate the bureaucracy.

Benadryl Time

I’m off for St. Louis today, my flight leaves at 11:30 and I arrive there at 20:55. I’m excited to see somewhere new, but I’m slowly going mad waiting for the flight. Whenever I fly, or take any mode of transportation that requires buying  ticket, I’m always forced into a state of mental limbo the day before. This state isn’t impatience, I can wait patiently, this has more to do with the time spent between arrival at “ready” and the actual go time: the set time. If I were driving, the set time is a matter of minutes, an hour or two tops. When I’m flying the set time can be 12 hours or more. When you’re in the blocks for 12 hours, everything seems to go to limbo. Blerg.

Also, when will we ever have paperless boarding passes?

I’m leaving on a jet plane in 23 hours and 30 minutes. I love traveling to new places, but I’m not the biggest fan of flying; luckily, there are a million at least two different uses for Benadryl. Pop one or two a half hour before the flight and then happily wake up on approach to your destination. Your last clear memory will be of take off, followed by some fuzzier scenes of peanuts and a refreshing Coke on ice sitting on the tray in front of you, rattling lightly from turbulence. That’s the way to fly baby. BOO-YA.

I just cleared out an old room full of junk in the CC, with help from Mike, in about 2 hours flat. People who love progress, efficiency and process: 1, Packrats: 0. BOO-YA.

Had a good time at the Beanery on fifth last night. I wrote a stupid blog, which I deleted later and then I had a nice rambling chat over a cup of tea with new company. 2 hours of conversation later, I made my way to the car and spent the rest of the night singing. BOO-YA.

I am as giddy as a schoolboy, there is thunder and lightning afoot!

I’ve always had an odd fascination with thunder and lightning storms. Where I come from they happen frequently in the Fall and Spring time, as the seasons change. In the high desert, the horizon is quite a bit more visible than it is here in the valley so it was not uncommon to see the forked lightning striking all around you as you lay on the hood and windshield of your car, parked at  your look out on top of the old quarry south of town.

I’ve even seen a tree struck 100 feet away from me, and I still love it.

As I found out today, most don’t share my enthusiasm with this awesome display of nature. While I sit here, grinning like an idiot, most of the office is showing signs of fear, wariness or just annoyance that their computer’s might all shut off. I pity them; and, as I sit here at my desk typing up orders for toner, figuring out summer lab schedules and creating server migration processes I am grinning like an idiot and tapping my foot until the moment I can get out on my bike and ride home in the midst of the storm!