aetercrow it's doomsday on the other side of town

29Jul/116

Failed at Life

I sold my car today, which means that I will never go on another date. I won't ever get to see the ocean or my friends again, and I've all but cut myself off from the outside world . It's a shame really. I threw the American dream away!

You have a love affair with your car, an illicit, steamy, adulterous, and souls sucking love affair. I get it. You need something to haul the kids around in. I get it. You have to commute 30 minutes to work in a city you can't afford to live in. I get it.

I can't deny the utility of the car for some people. I also can't deny or escape the fact that most/all of our goods are transported by large automobiles. I'm just damn grateful that I can live part of my life without one.

If I have a steamy affair, I'd rather it be... I digress.

So, it's back to downtown life for me; back to biking to the grocery store, back to plugging quarters into the laundry, back to a simpler life. If this is failing, then consider me incapable of winning.

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6Jul/110

Post Real Estate Insanity

If you've followed me from way back you'll know I haven't update this blog in months. I recently took it offline to retool it with an eye on narrowing the focus to my real estate adventures -- searching for, buying and maintaining a home. After a lot of planning and searching, I put an offer in on a cute little home on June 20th. By the 23rd, I had rejected a counter offer and I decided that I was out of my mind to do anything of the sort.
What follows is a window into that three day period, written in the aftermath. It's pathetic, but bear with me:
I nearly destroyed myself in the mental struggle. Somewhere, deep down, perhaps in the "gut" I had a kernel of doubt, so I stripped down the whole project to it's parts. I broke down the budget again and was still satisfied that I could afford it, but less sure I should.
I decided to call up the only people I know who have owned homes and know me, the parents, and we did it again. Mom, in her sagely businesslike ways has spreadsheets and budget models for every scenario they have ever considered, or have been through. In the process, I learned that my seed of doubt was tied to factors I was not yet conscious of.
What it comes down to, I can sum up in one word: lifestyle. Owning a house, or a condo, or anything I have to mortgage involves costs outside of the mortgage and taxes and utilities; and, to be happy and secure I need to be able to cover those incidentals while maintaining my lifestyle. I don't have enough money to do all of that.
I am at my core, an individual who is both spontaneous and oblivious. I'm proud of that! I don't like complicated, I don't like to worry -- those things I do at work, or at least need to be limited in scope to a project fueled by interest. If I had bought that house, at any offer over 120-130k, I would be going down the path that would lead to crisis. Too much risk, not enough reward.
In the final hours, leading up to the deadline of 8:59PM, my experiences over the last few days clarified. In that time I was sick, throwing up, tense and nervous. That isn't excitement, that's by brain screaming at me to stop. So, I did! I couldn't be more relieved.
There you have it. I am a lot happier, but I kind of shot my blog idea down in the process. I have some other ideas though and I'm looking forward to getting into this writing space again. We'll see where it goes, besides straight to spiderwebs and posts every three months or so.
Until next time.
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1Jul/110

We’re back up and running.

Stay tuned for more fun.

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